Today I was pretty surprised at how tired and sore I still was from my surgery on Monday...I think it might be some lingering effects from the anesthesia. I took a shower this morning, and that small thing nearly wiped me out. Also, I have very little range of motion in my right arm, and struggled with the simple task of washing my hair, and then drying off my body. I knew I couldn't handle my blow dryer, so my husband Steve dried my hair for me.
A friend and co-worker came by with the most thoughtful gift...every person I work with either donated, or shopped, for something yellow to "bring a little sunshine into my life." A beautiful gift basket filled with towels, candy, lottery tickets, note cards...even a yellow bandana that I'm sure I will be able to wear shortly. Thank you so much to Denise, Esther, Janie, Jim, Joy, Karen, Paul, and Sabrena, who delivered the gift to my doorstep. It meant so much to me, you have no idea.
I also got a card in the mail and phone call from a friend of mine who teaches in the district, and a phone call from my sister-in-law. A visit from my mom and dad in the evening pretty much summed up my day, still recovering from a surgical procedure two days ago. I hope tomorrow I feel more like myself...but truthfully, every time I feel that hard circular port inserted under my skin on my chest, it feels like something Agent Scully from the X-Files might have had in the back of her neck...both alien, other worldly, and yet, life-changing. While Scully was an alien abductee, I'm one of those left behind...my medical experiments won't be conducted on a spaceship, but on the third floor af the Allegiance Professional Building in less than two weeks. Unlike Agent Scully, who was convinced her experiments were hurting her, I have to believe my procedures are being done to help me.
Someone asked me if I've gotten any statistics...and I know what they mean, what is my percentage of beating this and surviving? Truthfully, I haven't been given any such thing. I haven't even been given the stage of my cancer. Maybe I don't want to know. Would it change the fact of me going through treatment if my percentage of survival was below 50%? Below 30%? A slim chance? I don't think it would. I think as a "warrior," you have to be willing to fight, no matter what the odds. That's probably why I love the casino so much, I'm not afraid to gamble. And my mantra has always been, "Go big, or go home." This is probably the most important bet I've ever made....
Kim, Eugene and I are reading your blog together each night and thinking about you every day. We are so amazed by your courage and your positive attitude and send our love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHey Kim.
ReplyDeleteI saw this little story on the internet. I know everyone's cancer is not the same and that people can react differently to treatment and situations. I have been a big Harry Potter fan so it was inspiring to read about Maggie's Smith and her response to breast cancer. I think of you and pray for you often. Hugs. Karen
Dame Maggie Smith seemed like a natural fit to play the no-nonsense Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter movie series. What many people don’t know is that, during the making of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," Smith was battling breast cancer while still keeping up with a rigorous filming schedule.
The two-time Oscar winner discovered the lump in her breast in 2008. Speaking to The Telegraph, she said, “I didn’t think it was anything serious because years ago I felt a lump and it was benign... I assumed this would be too. It kind of takes the wind out of your sails.” Chemotherapy, she says, “makes you feel much worse than the cancer itself... You feel horribly sick. I was holding on to railings, thinking ‘I can’t do this.’” Nevertheless, she vowed to her fans that she would complete the Harry Potter films if at all possible.
Throughout the experience, Smith kept a sense of humor about the situation. When speaking of filming in the midst of her treatment, she said, “I was hairless. I had no problem getting the wig on.” And as she began to recover in 2009, she said, “The last couple of years have been a write-off, though I’m beginning to feel like a person now.”
Smith completed the Harry Potter films and went on to star in Downton Abbey, playing the bristly Violet Crawley for the past four seasons. She’s also acted in several films, something she was fearful she wouldn’t be able to do again because of “the amount of energy one needs to be in a film or a play.” Now that she has recovered from her cancer treatment, she has no plans to retire, saying, “I think that the date for that [retiring] has gone by. I fear that I won’t work in the theatre again. I’m sad about that. But I won’t retire. I think I’ll keep going with Violet and whatever other old biddy comes along.” (Karen Wood)