Two weeks ago, at this time, I wasn't doing very well... I was having a lot of treatment effects from my first round of chemo.  This time around, I can honestly say, is nothing like the first round.  Yes, I'm a little tired/ fatigued.  But no dizziness.  No real nausea...I've only taken one or two nausea pills since my treatment on Tuesday, in the middle of the night.  I'm not sleeping really well, but that's partly because of the steroids for three days after treatment...they kind of rev you up....I was cleaning out an upstairs closet at 4 in the morning yesterday, organizing a new guest room, and getting things set aside for Steve to take to the Goodwill.  And I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel...looking forward to the more "up" part of this cycle.

Yesterday I probably could have laid on the couch for most of the day and been content, but I decided to go to the grocery store.  I said that would be my "one thing" I'd set out to accomplish that day.  That's been kind of a buzzword in my head since this first ordeal... There will be days when I can literally do one thing, and one thing only.  If I work, that may be it.  If I want to clean my house, well, then that may be all the energy I have for that day.  And once I got to the grocery store, I got a phone call from two of my closest friends, Eugene and Anna, asking if I'd like some company.  Eugene and I went to school together and have been great friends since then...his wife and I met, for the first time, at my wedding...she was Eugene's date... And we've been good friends ever since.  Ok. So today I'm going to do two things...get groceries and have company...and set a time for them to visit after I got back from Meijer's.

The grocery store at noon on Saturday can be a little bit of a zoo...it was my second day out, wearing a wig, and I was a little self-conscious...it's this feeling that people are looking at me, and not because I look sick... I don't think I do ( but you would if you saw me without that wig on!  Not Pretty!), but because it still feels like part of a costume... I hope that feeling goes away.  Anyway, I tried out my local wig, the one the girl at the Jackson Crossing helped me try on... And I've wondered aloud in my mind if anyone would ever tell me I have pretty hair again...and it happened...in the frozen food aisle.  A lady came up to me to tell me how "pretty my hair color was, it's just beautiful..."  And just like what happened in Kohl's, I got very emotional, told her thank you, but it was a wig, and only my second time wearing one out.  And I started to cry a little bit.  And this strange lady hugged me.  And I didn't know if I was crying because I thought she really liked my hair, or if she was seeing someone who was obviously wearing a wig, and she was just trying to be be nice.  Part of me wanted to ask her, and part of me just had to get away from her and just keep shopping, going about my business... I hope the more I wear my wigs in public, the more comfortable I'll be in them, and less susceptible to break down and cry.  I hope I can just say "thank you for the compliment."  That will definitely be an improvement in my emotional healing.

My friends stopped over as we were putting away the groceries.  It was so good to see them, we visited for several hours...it was like nothing had changed.  I told them the story about the woman in the grocery store...got emotional again... I guess talking about it helps.  I will say, on the plus side, I probably cut off about 30 minutes of my morning routine...no blow dry, no curling...just makeup, then hair on.  It was kind of liberating, and once school starts I'll probably really appreciate that extra time getting ready for work.  My hair is about 80% gone.  I will really be glad when it's just all gone, because I'm shedding...and worse than a hundred pound German Shepherd and a Ragdoll cat named Henry put together.  I'm lint rolling my pillowcase, my face in the middle of the night...it's crazy!  Things like that they don't tell you about, you have to figure it out on your own.  I'm not sure what you'd actually call that chapter of chemo... "Have a lint roller handy, because there will be little hairs all over your face, and they will make you itchy."  Yuck!

Lots of water and liquids.  Eating every 3 hours.  Taking a Claritin every day.  Resting when my body tells me to, even if it's crawling into bed for a "nap" at 6:30 pm.  Not pushing myself too hard, because it's a different kind of tiredness than I'm used to.  Taking and accepting help...not being too proud.  Appreciating everything my husband is able to do...he's a very good cook, and that really makes things easier for me.  Being thankful Drake has had this time away with his best friend's family, and not had to witness first-hand the hair loss... All are things I'm able to appreciate.  I'm just glad this round is better than the first.  I'm hoping the darkest days of chemo are truly behind me, and now I know more of what to expect.